On women reclaiming public voice in the face of online hate, cancel culture & surveillance.
 
Woman - What is she trolled for? Her individuality, her beliefs, her thoughts and statements, her persona, her looks, her courage, and her stuff…? Or all of that only because she’s a woman? Those inappropriate comments and messages, blatant hate, snide remarks and reactions and outright challenges and confrontations, stalking and bullying - what gives anyone the right to violate her, even approach her thus? Is there adequate protection in the places and spaces she inhabits?

Does the law come down hard on trespassers? And we’re not even extending the discussion to far worse possibilities on account of the finer details of race, color, region and religion, possibilities that so easily moved from the physical world to the digital with a heightened acceleration, contagion, promiscuity and abrasiveness.
 
To quote UN Women, “No one should have to live in fear just for existing online. The digital world should be a safe space for everyone.”

Women have for centuries been searching for their safe space. Whether it was the home, school, place of work, neighborhood, or community. Until a few decades ago, it was limited to the confines of physical spaces. And then the world opened up to a parallel universe online and all things virtual. No less a space, even worse, an access to a physical space and the person, the woman herself. Individuals of the opposite sex who would otherwise and in person not be emboldened enough to dare her, so easily do it now in the guise of a not-quite-real person and the shadow of a screen.
 
An untoward incident seldom goes without further scrutiny on what the woman will have allowed or even encouraged, how she behaved or conducted herself to elicit vile or disrespectful handling? So, in her best interest and protection, does it warrant the woman to tone down, edit, step back, camouflage, or even change in order to be spared attack? Or rather, just be?

Whether it’s her work, her make-up, her fashion, her travels, her family and friends, her engagements and pursuits, her health, her body, her advocacy; clearly, she need not deter from being all of her, need not have to think twice to write or post anything and should rest assured of her safe space. This is not aspirational; it is ideal and should be the goal of a civilized society.
 
So, ladies: write, post, be.
 
But given reality, given we do not control what others are capable of doing and being, and therefore what could be at stake for us, speaking for our species, we women should perhaps consider a few tips around safeguarding our identity and existence in the digital world. Truth be told, men should as well, but all the more, and for obvious reasons, should women.

  • Observe general online hygiene using strong and unique passwords, enabling two-factor authentication, being cautious about personal information shared online, being wary of suspicious links or attachments, and being conscious of the information we reveal in our online interactions, including photos and videos.
  • Check who we let into our space. That said, don’t we know that not everyone we’re connecting with is a ‘known’ person, a ‘real’ contact or friend? Don’t we know by now, the number of people we’ve gotten to meet online that were strangers at first, but that turned out to be great friends, partners, cheerleaders and associates? The many projects and initiatives we’ve gone on to build with such individuals, how would any of that have been possible if we women were shy, afraid, intimidated, diffident, or hypervigilant? So, we’re out there in the open, not just to people we accepted into our space, we’re also exposed to those in the spaces of those connections as well; and what works for our contacts need not necessarily work for us. If we feel safer with a locked profile, keeping our profile private and not public, not having a profile picture or any pictures at all, we should take the wherewithal in our stride, following what we deem comfortable, even activating those layers of protection.
  • One would have to add, in the event of a flag or breach, we should be quick to investigate and clarify and further proceed to unfriend or block, if required.
  • Keep a record of anything that seems off, label and save it for easy recall.
  • Report the smallest offense. Besides doing this for ourselves, we do it for the common good as well.

In summing up online safety protocol, by all means, women should stay real, unafraid and our authentic best.
 
There are hundreds if not thousands of organizations worldwide dedicated to women’s empowerment and gender equity and tens of thousands of others that include the same in their mission and agenda. Could it be possible that a few billion people, mostly women, are skewed to believe there is a gap, that feel there is a need to address the gap, and further, that would advocate for steps to be taken to bridge the gap? And when women voice their thoughts and campaign for the cause, why would they so easily get targeted as being opinionated and offensive, get called out and demanded to be accountable? While cancel culture is not inherently directed at women, it clearly has a disproportionate effect on women given the overarching skewness with a response that usually comes across as hyper-interrogation or plain relegation.
 
I’m reminded of a line in the refrain of Rockwell Jackson’s song, “I always feel like somebody's watchin' me, And I have no privacy”. A song from 1984 that had a sinister feeling to it, is reality in 2025, in every sense. Someone’s listening in on our conversations, all kinds of authorities and just people watching what we say and do online, in some instances unbeknown to us, there could even be cameras in dressing rooms and where we make love. It would be accurate to say that now even our thoughts can be tapped into. A dangerous scenario for humans in general, one cannot start to imagine the far-reaching implications of what ‘being watched’ feels like for girls and women. Eerie, to say the least.
 
But hang on! When we drive around, go for a walk, just navigate life in the physical sense, are we not being watched, no less? And do we stop going about life for that very reason? A big “no!”. Clearly, this being watched only went up a gazillion notches with our territory expanding to the whole wide world - online. Now it’s not just the watchers in the neighborhood, but someone potentially on the other side of the planet. A fearful shadowing.

It is opined that in authoritarian regimes, outspoken women face digital surveillance as a precursor to real-world punishment. Women get punished for speaking up. Indeed, women get flagged and dismissed for speaking up in professional and social settings, on account of gender bias and stereotypes, and in the worst cases, rampant patriarchy and misogyny. Perhaps it’s no more the ducking stool, public shaming or being burned or stoned for disruption and the woman not knowing ‘her (rightful) place’.

We’d have thought that with evolution and civilization, the unapologetic silencing and censoring women face would have abated, but that’s far from reality. An otherwise progressive society often cannot even admit its underdevelopment when it comes to the status and treatment of women, expectations, small and great.

Who defines what’s candid and vocal, why does such pertain to only women and not men, and what is the threshold past which speech becomes outspokenness? Are women to think twice before saying anything, weighing our words when we do? There are no words of wisdom on this, just individual gut, comfort and discretion. One would reiterate - by all means, women should stay real, unafraid and our authentic best.
 
It is the individual’s prerogative to be or not to be and how to be, men and women alike. It would be fitting to close the curtain on this piece with an exhortation from the acclaimed poet, storyteller, and activist, Maya Angelou. “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it, possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” And that is us when we choose to stand – ‘Silenced, Censored, Still Standing’ for each of us and all of us.